Are You Lost? Facing a Major Life Change, and a House?

October 13, 2020

I have been remiss in keeping up with my post.

Recently, I have been chatting with an unwilling divorcee.  Mom of 2 who was married to a duplicitous man, who had an apartment and mistress she was never aware of for 5 years!  Sadly, I have heard this story before.  This unfortunate Mom married a man fifteen years her senior right out of high school.  She is still so innocent, and unfortunately did not have an attorney that looked out for her best interest or the future for her children.  She has a house she can not afford, with an ex-husband only required to pay the mortgage for two years.  She has limited skills and works in an office making far less money than will be required for her to keep this home.

Worse than the finances is the simply fact she is not mentally prepared to be single.  She was not looking for a divorce when he ran off with another woman that was not the mistress.  Divorce can often leave us in a debilitating mental state that is much like mourning the death of a loved one.  It is a death, death of a dream we have not fulfilled, death of a promise long ago made.  Unfortunately, society does not have sympathy for divorce.

I see short sales and foreclosures brought on by divorce.  Divorce is often caused by finance or unfaithfulness.  It is a sad state that is often reflected in the condition of the home.  You can see where many peoples mental state is when walking through their home.

I gave this lady a Budget sheet to help her organize her financial situation. (would you like your Free copy?) Completing a Budget Sheet for the month is often difficult for depressed people to manage alone.  But if you are able to clearly put your income and expenses in order you will find something to grab onto.

The bottom line is either Black or Red.

If its RED - you now have questions to focus on.  What can you give up to get in the black each month?

Or what can you do to improve your present situation?

The important thing at this moment is to accept YOUR ABILITIES TO CHANGE for your own benefit.  Each question is a choice only You can Answer.

Giving up is not an answer!  Especially, if children are involved.  There is Life after divorce!

I found Rick Warren's book, "A Purpose Driven Life" and the accompanying workbook very helpful through a dark time in my own life.

There is also "Happiness Advantage" by Shawn Achor you may find useful.

There are times in most peoples lives when they need guidance, or encouragement.  We do not always have others to turn too for help, or even know where to go.  Each step you take forward is one step closer to personal success.

Realize the road you're on is difficult and you may not like all the choices you'll make but for each conscious choice you make your are setting an example of success for yourself!  A marker on your journey to embracing the life you were met to enjoy!

Created by:  Associate Broker T.C. Cooksley of United Real Estate.   she may be contacted at: [email protected]

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